The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming

Movie: The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming (1966), Not Rated

Date Watched: October 24th, 2009

Star Your Parents May Know: Carl Reiner, Alan Arkin, Brian Keith (Uncle Bill from Family Affair), Theodore Bikel


Recommendations: 4 stars

Treats Served: My mom was mean enough to not serve us anything.

Summary: A Russian submarine lands accidentally off the coast of Gloucester Island, MA. All the Russian soldiers want is a boat to pull the submarine off the sand bar and leave peacefully. It was the time of the Cold War and the Russians were worried that they would start World War III. Instead of leaving quietly, the soldiers create disturbances on the tiny island.

Even though the Russians only meet a family and and old lady, rumors start spreading quickly and people become confused and panicked.

This funny (not hilarious) movie shows what happens if you spread rumors. It's almost like the game "telephone." You pass on a message and each next person usually mixes it up a little until it gets completely changed. The people of this island go crazy. An old guy who used to be in the Navy started an unorganized army. Others meet at a bar to discuss how to fight back, but they end up drinking instead. One drunk guy goes to get his horse to warn the town people that "The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming," except he couldn't catch his horse.

This wasn't a laugh out loud movie, but it was still funny because the people were all so stupid.

Watch the preview and you decide.

My Joke: Do you get beer at a sand bar?

Patchy's Comment: What a bunch of dorks.

Planet of the Apes AND Beneath Planet of the Apes

Movies: Planet of the Apes (1968), Rated G and Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970), Rated G

Date Watched: October 3 and 18th, 2009

Star Your Parents May Know: Charlton Heston



Recommendations:
Planet of the Apes = 4 stars
Beneath the Planet of the Apes = 4 stars

Review:
Monkeys riding horses with guns? People in cages like animals? This the world that Astronaut Taylor crash lands on 2,000 year after he takes off from earth. Taylor finds the apes are in charge of the planet and humans are the animals. The apes speak English and the humans are mute. When Taylor yells, "Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!," the apes are stunned. (Watch this scene.) The leaders want to kill the dangerous stranger. The scientists, who are chimpanzees, want to study him. Taylor needs to escape the apes and return to earth. He flees with Nova, the mate they gave him. They find the secret only a few apes know.

The story continues in Beneath the Planet of the Apes. A new astronaut, Brent, also crash lands on this planet in search of Astronaut Taylor. He also discovers Nova and that the apes rule. Brent escapes the apes and finds himself in another city underground. This city is ruled by evolved humans who speak into your brain. The apes and the evolved humans both want power. Brent, Taylor and Nova find themselves in the middle of it. As we know from the first movie, power leads to disaster.

I thought both movies were really good. These movies were rated G, but they should actually be PG because there is a lot of shooting people and blood. The main characters in both movies were very interesting. They were very dramatic and to me that made it more realistic. They were always strong and not too scared. The scenery and the apes looked really fake, which made it weird and like the old-fashioned movies, which they are.

I think I'm going to watch the other sequels even though they don't sound too great, but you can watch the trailers and decide.

• Planet of the Apes Trailer
• Beneath the Planet of the Apes: Trailer and watch the whole movie from your computer

Patchy's Comments: He doesn't brush his teeth (referring to Charlton Heston). Re: First movie: This is kind of like the first one.

Dumb and Dumber AND Dumb and Dumberer

Movies: Dumb and Dumber (1994), Not Rated and Dumb and Dumberer (2003), PG-13

Date Watched: September, 2009

Stars Your Parents May Know: Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels


Recommendations:
Dumb and Dumber = ★★★★★
Dumb and Dumberer = ★

Review: Two nitwits, in a truck that looks like a sheepdog, drive halfway across the country, to give a woman back a lost briefcase. What they don't know is that there is money in the suitcase and two villains are after them. Dumb and Dumber is filled with hilarious scenes like Harry's tongue getting stuck to a ski lift, Lloyd's karate fight with a chef, and Harry's diarrhea explosion.

My favorite scene was when Lloyd and Harry sneak extremely hot peppers into the villain's sandwich. He falls on the ground in pain and asks for his pills. Lloyd and Harry get mixed up and feed him rat poison instead.

The way we found out about Dumb and Dumber was my dad was going to rent it, but he got mixed up and rented Dumb and Dumberer. Now, Dumb and Dumberer is not funny or funnierer. It is the story of Lloyd and Harry when they're younger. It wasn't good because they tried to make it funny and it didn't work. The story wasn't really interesting and the jokes didn't make me laugh.

Let's hope there's never a Dumb and Dumbererer.

Go out and rent Dumb and Dumber, but stay away from Dumb and Dumberer. But watch the trailers and you decide.

Dumb and Dumber Trailer

Dumb and Dumberer Trailer

Here's also a funny clip from the first movie. It's like Tom & Jerry.

Captain Courageous

Movie: Captain Courageous (1937), Not Rated

Date Watched: May 30, 2009

Stars Your Parents May Know: Spencer Tracy, Lionel Barrymore

Recommendation: ★★★★★

Treats Served: None

Review: Captain Courageous, made in 1937, is a black and white film about a spoiled rich boy, Harvey Cheyne, who gets "rusticated" (expelled) from boarding (sleep away) school for lying and threatening his classmates and a teacher. Harvey's father thinks that Harvey's bad behavior is because he isn't a good father and he has no mother.

To teach Harvey how to be not so creepy and improve their relationship, his father takes Harvey on a cruise...on his own cruise ship. At the very beginning of the trip, Harvey falls of the boat and is rescued by fisherman, Manuel (Spencer Tracy.) Harvey is welcomed onto Manuel's big fishing boat and expects to be treated like a king. He is very mistaken.

Sever months later when the ship gets back to land, Harvey and his father find each other again. Harvey is a better kid now because of his relationship with Manuel. Manuel taught him to fish and he taught him what a good relationship is like. Life on a fishing boat is not like boarding school, so Harvey learned how different people live.

This movie teaches that relationships are important and that you should trat people nicely even if they're different. Freddie Bartholomew does a terrific job of playing the creepy Harvey.

For the next couple of days at my house, whenever I didn't listen, my mom said I was a creep just like Harvey.

I think you should watch this movie. But watch the trailer and you decide.

The Express

Movie: The Express (2008), Rated PG

Date Watched: April 25, 2009

Stars Your Parents May Know: Dennis Quaid, Charles Dutton

Recommendation: ★★★☆☆


Treats Served: Popcorn

Interruptions: First David came and lay down on the couch and talked. Then my mom made him watch the movie. About 10 minutes later, Julia came in asking if she could watch the movie. About a half hour later, we stopped to make popcorn. David left. And Julia and I threw popcorn in the air and tried to catch it in our mouths. Then he came back about 30 minutes later and made Julia leave. Oh, and Hanky meowed the whole time.

Review: The Express is the true story of the short life of Ernie Davis, who became the first African American to win the Heisman Trophy. Ernie lived his early childhood with his grandparents until his mom came and got him. He moved with his mom to upstate New York and became the star of the high school football team.

This was a hard time for African-Americans because they weren't treated equally. They couldn't use the same bathrooms as whites. They couldn't stay at the same hotels and they couldn't go to the same restaurants.

It was a hard time for Ernie too. His teammates and people outside of football were mean to him because he was black. Ernie tried to ignore them, but when he couldn't, he outran them. He got his inspiration from Jackie Robinson and his grandfather. When Ernie attended Syracuse University, he learned from Jim Brown, another African-American football player who attended Syracuse.

It was good to learn about Ernie Davis. Even my dad didn't know who he was. I have heard about these times, but this was the first time I actually saw it. It was hard to watch. And my mom said what they were going to say right before they even said it. She said the movie was "predictable."

There were three similarities to Breaking Away. First, Dennis Quaid was in both. Second, they were both about sports. And third, they were both about struggles between two types of people competing against each other.

I think you should watch this movie. But watch the trailer and you decide.

Patchy: Wasn't interested at all in the movie.

Breaking Away

Movie: Breaking Away (1979), Rated PG

Date Watched: April 11, 2009

Stars Your Parents May Know: Dennis Quaid and Jackie Earle Haley (bad boy in Bad News Bears and Little Children)

Recommendation: ★★★★★

Treats Served: Swedish Fish
.

Summary: Breaking Away is about Dave Stohler, a local teenager, who wants to be a champion bicyclist. He pretends to be an Italian college student, but he's really a local boy who just graduated from high school. It's Dave and his lazy friends versus the rich college kids.

Review: Breaking Away is one of the best movies I've seen so far. It was inspiring, interesting and even funny. The lesson I learned was "don't give up." Dave was an amazing bicyclist and very determined. During one race, his favorite Italian team cheats and makes him lose. He goes home, rips down all his bike posters, and temporarily gives up. With the help of his friends and family, Dave decides to compete in a college race. But it's really his confidence that makes good things happen for him.

The movie made me want to compete in a bike race and try to do my best.
However, the movie wasn't all that serious. Dave's relationship with his father, Raymond, wasn't very good, but it was funny. Dave spoke Italian all the time -- even when he spoke English, he spoke in an Italian accent. This drove his father bonkers. His dad thought Dave was always happy and said things like, "When I was his age, I was tired and miserable." Then when Dave becomes tired and miserable, his dad says, "I didn't want him to be this miserable. A little is all I asked for."

There was great Italian opera too!

Watch the trailer and you decide.

Patchy's Memorable Quote: Referring to Dennis Quaid, "Does he have a hair do?" Here's a picture. What do you think?

Parent Advisory: One or two inappropriate words and high romance advisory.

Tom Sawyer

Movie: Tom Sawyer (1973), Rated G

Date Watched: April 2, 2009

Stars Your Parents May Know: Jodie Foster, Johnny Whitaker (Family Affair)

Recommendation: ★★☆☆☆

Treats Served: MoonPies from Jake. (Every month, Jake's grandfather sends him a box full of goodies. This month he got Moon Pies and Cheetos. Jake's mom snuck some MoonPies out for us so she doesn't eat them.) Read about the birth of MoonPies and how they were named.

Summary: Based on the book by Mark Twain, this musical adaptation is about an adventurous Tom Sawyer who gets in trouble almost every time he leaves his house. Tom Sawyer witnesses a murder and it puts him in danger.

Review: About five minutes into the movie they started singing. This is when I figured out it was a musical. I thought it was going to be one of those other boring musicals and it kind of was. It wasn't filled with singing and there was no dancing, but when I read the book I didn't think there would be singing.

The movie used most of the adventures that the book had, but not all. I didn't expect Tom Sawyer to have red hair.

My mom and dad are sort of teaching me what some words in the movie mean. These are the ones I am learning:

Philanderer: someone who flirts with women who are not their wives.
Tom's "fiance" Becky calls Tom a philanderer when she finds out he was ''engaged'' to someone before her. This is funny because they are 11 years old!

Uncouth: rude and uncivilized.
Tom's Aunt Polly called his friend, Huckleberry Finn, uncouth because he never wore shoes, smoked a pipe and never washed.

Cavort: to hang around and have fun with.
Aunt Polly doesn't like Tom Sawyer cavorting with Huckleberry Finn because she thought he was a bad influence. I would like a friend like Huckleberry Finn because he's adventurous.

If anyone wants to borrow my kid's version of Tom Sawyer, I recommend reading that, but not watching the movie. Watch the trailer and you decide.

Patchy's Favorite Part: "When the girl be friends with the boy and when the boy and the other boy be friends again." (Patchy is talking about when Tom Sawyer becomes friends again with both Becky and Huckleberry Finn.)